The Four Languages of Influence

Effective communication isn’t one-size-fits-all. Different people have different preferences when it comes to how they process and respond to information. Some want the bottom line delivered quickly and concisely, while others crave a detailed, step-by-step approach. Some are energized by big ideas and excitement, while others value stability and safety.

By understanding and mastering the four distinct languages of influence, you’ll become more effective at connecting with others, gaining agreement, and ultimately achieving your goals. The acronym SOLD represents these four key communication styles:

1. Steadfast (e.g., Simon Cowell, Hillary Clinton, John McEnroe)

Style: Direct, no-nonsense, results-oriented
What they want: Bullet points and the bottom line. They appreciate clarity and brevity.
What to avoid: Small talk, irrelevant details, or excessive pleasantries.
Key tip: Be clear, concise, and focused on the results. They don’t have time for fluff—just give them the facts.

2. Outgoing (e.g., Elton John, Robin Williams, Oprah Winfrey)

Style: Energetic, enthusiastic, and future-focused
What they want: Exciting possibilities, big ideas, and the “wow” factor. They’re motivated by enthusiasm and high energy.
What to avoid: Rigid plans, too many details, or anything that feels overly structured.
Key tip: Keep the conversation lively and fun, and emphasize opportunities and the potential for greatness.

3. Loving (e.g., Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Jimmy Fallon)

Style: Compassionate, people-centered, and harmony-driven
What they want: A focus on relationships, care for others, and emotional wellbeing. They value connection and empathy above all.
What to avoid: Conflict, criticism, or anything that could feel confrontational.
Key tip: Prioritize personal connections, listen actively, and show genuine concern for their feelings and needs.

4. Detail-oriented (e.g., Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Tim Cook)

Style: Logical, methodical, and information-driven
What they want: Data, facts, and thorough analysis. They like structured, well researched
ontent and appreciate clear plans.
What to avoid: Generalizations, vagueness, or skipping over important details.
Key tip: Be precise, offer detailed explanations, and make sure you’ve done your homework. They value accuracy and depth.

Why Flexing Your Style Matters

Most of us naturally communicate in our own preferred style, which can feel comfortable and easy. However, the reality is that people with different styles may not respond well to the way we typically communicate. In fact, about 75% of the population may not share your communication preferences.

To truly influence others—whether in professional or personal settings—it’s essential to flex your communication style to match theirs. This doesn’t mean changing who you are, but adapting how you communicate to meet the needs and preferences of the person you’re engaging with. By doing so, you’ll improve relationships, build stronger connections, and increase your chances of gaining approval, influencing decisions, and closing deals.